Obsession or Loyalty? What is the TRUTH About Michael Jackson Fans?

Someone asked me the other day, if I thought that my fanship of Michael Jackson could be considered an obsession.

At the time, his question angered me. I secretly felt attacked and tried to explain to the best of my ability, why I was so enamored and interested in Michael- my childhood hero.



I think the best way to describe it would be LOYALTY. 

In fact, loyalty is one of the most important things I've learned as a Michael Jackson fan.

I've had friends throughout my life from all different places. Summer camps, high school, part-time jobs, and the list goes on. But I have to admit... Michael Jackson fans have always been my best friends.

Looking back, it was always a challenge for me to fit in with kids my age, especially during my adolescence. In middle school, we had to get groups of friends together to perform a dance or song for our school-wide talent show. All of the other groups did contemporary and current pop selections... while I chose to do Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation". I was Janet and the other two girls reluctantly agreed to be my background dancers... in 2002 (over a decade after the song's initial release).

To say I was living in somewhat of an alternate universe was a bit of an understatement. I enjoyed being different for the most part but, I did miss out on having the friendships I saw everyone else around me enjoying.

Until I found Michael Jackson forums.
I had friends in high school... but, it was my MJ friends who I hung pictures up of in my locker. I had always felt closer to them than any of my other friends in school (no shade to them). In spite of the many fans I no longer have relationships with... I wouldn't erase the years of friendship and the memories we made for anything. My Michael Jackson fan friends have been the most loyal to me, in the overall scheme of things.

If I were to take a step back and analyze why, I think it's because we've all learned how to be loyal to Michael. Through all of the setbacks and ups and downs, most of us (even 7 years after his death are still  true and devoted fans.).

I woke up this morning on a quest to find this poem so I could share it with you all. I first discovered it in 2006. Whoever wrote this, really captured the essence of the fan community and it really stands out to me as a true representation of who Michael Jackson fans are (at least the ones who were fans prior to his death in 2009 and actually had to experience all of those highs and lows with him).

What do you think of this poem? Does it ring true to you?

"Michael Jackson fans are a strange breed. 

One would be hard pressed to find another fan community whose object of admiration is the subject of so much unnecessary condemnation. Over time, Michael Jackson enthusiasts have watched their beloved's seemingly global idolization transform into apparent worldwide mischaracterization and mistreatment by the press and public alike.

Yet, through it all, true Michael Jackson fans have not abandoned him. 

If anything, the harder Michael's opponents try to shove him to the depths of despair, the harder his devotees love him, if only for summoning the courage to persist in the midst of it all. Michael's continued endurance is an exercise in strength and resilience in the face of adversity and uncertainty. Michael's fans have learned well the lesson, as they steadfastly brave the almost daily emotional roller coaster ride that is a requisite experience of every Jackson supporter. They marvel at his seemingly inexhaustible talents and applaud his victories. They laugh with him in his happiness; weep with him in his sorrow and pray for him in troubled times. Their hearts are warmed when he is embraced, and bleed when he is ill-treated.

Despite the stratospheric highs and seemingly cavernous lows that come with being a Michael Jackson fan, they remain loyal. They, like Michael, refuse to allow naysayers to steal their joy, obstruct their way or shape their opinions. They, like Michael, refuse to have their destiny defined or dictated by another. They also refuse to stand idly by as others attempt to deny Michael his rightfully earned legacy. Simply, Michael Jackson's fans are just like Michael in that they will not be deterred.

By nature of their calling, Michael's fans are constantly summoned to put on the full Armour, stand on the front lines and fight. Oftentimes with their pen as their sword, they fight alongside and for Michael's right of humanity. By so doing, they fight for tolerance over prejudice, unconditional love over criticism; wisdom over ignorance and justice over inequality - not only for Michael, but for themselves as well. The battles are never-ending, hard-fought and oftentimes mentally and physically exhausting. Still, rather than surrender or reconcile, Michael's fans resist. They resist the desire to abandon Michael when all seems lost. They forsake the notion that theirs is a lost cause. They refuse to throw in the towel and resign themselves to the path of least resistance, which so often involves renouncing their fan support of Michael.

When the going gets tough, with weary minds and heavy hearts, they press on. They press on through Michael's tribulations and the attacks to which he is subjected. They press on in spite of tire. They press on despite mockery and question as to why they bother fight at all for Michael Jackson, a man some deem undeserving of their adoration.

Hazrat Inayat Khan once said, "God breaks the heart again and again until it stays open". Michael's devotees can see him as living proof of this idea, as he seems to be the embodiment of the notion. His own heart has been broken much and his fans personally feel the sting of each break. By the grace of God, Michael's heart does not become hardened as a result of its frequent fractures. To the contrary, his shattered heart allows for its tenderness and openness. Since out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks, Michael's fans are able to truly see the fullness of his heart when they listen to him articulate his desire for acceptance, understanding, positivism, love and peace through song and speech.

As their efforts to break Jackson himself have continually proven unsuccessful, some Michael Jackson opponents have turned their focus to attempting to disband the fan community by attacking his defenders. Time after time, the press uses condescending, defamatory terms to describe Michael's fans. Being referred to as "delusional" and "*****" is not foreign to Jackson's supporters. However, Michael's devotees choose to ignore the juvenile name-calling and taglines bestowed on them by the media. The fans refuse to allow the press to project its negative, inaccurate perception onto them. This is because Michael Jackson fans realize that such inflammatory terms do not depict their true nature as intelligent, grounded individuals with a healthy admiration for Michael's music, vision and humanitarianism among other things.

Interestingly enough, Michael Jackson's influence is global and thus, so is his fan base. His detractors are under the false impression that his fan base is minuscule as well as one-dimensional. To the contrary, Michael Jackson enthusiasts are nothing if not vast and multi-dimensional. They can be found on every continent, in every country worldwide. Michael's fans transcend racial, age and socioeconomic boundaries. The fact that Michael's fans are so diverse adds to their beauty.

Few entertainers, if any, can lay claim to having the type of dynamic and varied fan base of which Michael Jackson can boast. If it is true our lives are open books for others to read, then the fans' study of Michael Jackson has taught them more than they ever could have imagined they would learn about life, love and survival.

Michael Jackson is a living testament of the notion that whatever one dreams and desires for his or her life can be achieved. Michael lives by the mantra that love should have no limitations -no conditions. Michael has shown all who dare take notice that it is possible to not only stay alive, but to thrive, with grace and fortitude despite adversity. By merely existing, Michael Jackson has taught his fans what it is to dream without fear, to create without boundaries, to listen without prejudice and to love without judgment. Simply, Michael Jackson's fans are a hard act to outshine.

Their loyalty, enthusiasm, intelligence and genuine adoration of their musical idol is unparalleled by other artists' fan communities. However, for all their attributes, when it comes to one particular matter, Michael Jackson's admiring fans will always be bested. For try as they might, no matter to what infinite degree they say and believe they love Michael Jackson, the King of Pop in true regal fashion, will always say and prove he loves them more ... " - written by Fantam

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A Touch, A Kiss, A Whisper of Love. A Fan Review of "Michael And Me" by Shana Mangatal

Over the past few months, there has been considerable buzz about this book, which the author describes as the story of Michael Jackson's secret romance.

Now I'll be honest, I wasn't active on the MJ forums and boards much after the trial. I wasn't super familiar with Shana's name or her story while Michael was still here. But, when Michael Jackson died in 2009, I watched hundreds and hundreds of YouTube videos and came across some videos about her and their secret relationship.

If you are curious about Shana and think her face looks familiar- you are right. She was one of the actresses in the short film for "Ghosts" and also was featured in the short film called "Is It Scary". Filmed in 1993, "Is It Scary" was never finished or released but, is available on Youtube by doing a simple search.

Shana Mangatal's "Michael And Me" gives an intimate look at who Michael Jackson was behind closed doors. And interestingly enough, you find out that a love interaction with the King Of Pop was, at least for Shana, at times more challenging than fairytale romantic.

One of the things I enjoyed most about this book was how well Shana painted the picture of each moment. She keeps you engaged and entertained with the "little things". Shana describes how smooth and buttery his complexion was and how soft his hands were. Her descriptions made for a good read and painted Michael in a very intriguing and attractive light.

Another fun tidbit- some of you may already know that I was a Japanese major in college and really heavy into food, snack and novelty items from there. Shana wrote about fans from Japan meeting Michael and giving him a box of banana cakes. True story- I knew exactly what she was talking about and it is one of my favorite snack items - ever! To find out that Michael also loved "Tokyo Banana" just like I did, made me smile.

This is just one instance of how Shana makes you feel like you're right there with her, living in the moments with Michael. I do feel like the marketing lead me to believe there was more actual juicy content than there ended up being but, truthfully, I prefer it this way. (I really am not interested in changing my perception of Michael, particularly since he's not even here to deny or confirm any of the contents of the book.)

If you are picking this up because you expect to read excerpts of love letters, hear about late night conversations and rendezvous, see photos of elaborate gifts... memories of surprise flowers and jewelry... You will be disappointed.

You see...

"Michael And Me" is actually interesting because it's the typical tale of that confusing and "gray area" of dating.

Definitely not a one-night-stand.
Not quite a relationship.
A romance... still something real but, not quite defined.

If you want to read about a warm-blooded man, both seductive with his eyes and with his words, who knew exactly how to use his charm to get what he wanted... This is your book. 
If you want to read about what it would feel like to go from a starry-eyed fan, to Michael's secret lover... This is your book.

And finally, if you want to get a glimpse of what Michael would be like as a lover....

This is your book.

I would recommend "Michael And Me" to any fan who is interested in the intimate side of Michael Jackson and can keep an open mind while reading.

Check it out on amazon.com here:

Did you read "Michael & Me? What did you think about it? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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15 Years Ago. Remembering my Fan Experience at the Michael Jackson 30th Anniversary Celebration.

The Michael Jackson 30th Anniversary Celebration was an event to remember.

I attended the show on September 10th, 2001... Exactly 15 years ago today.

As a Jacksons fan first and foremost, I was excited to see all 6 of the Jackson brothers reunited on stage. It would be the first time in 20 years... and I just HAD to be there.

I was young. My dad (also a huge fan) had seen Michael 3 or 4 times and had always RAVED about how amazing Jacksons shows were. So, when the tickets went on sale- he and I used his cell phone, our house phone and AOL (yes, we still had dial-up at this time) and completely devoted ourselves to get them. After busy signals, Ticketmaster site crashes, we had no choice but to continuously refresh our email inboxes with fingers crossed.

Our purchase had gone through and we were able to get 4.

I've always heard that the ticket prices for this show were the most expensive ever (at the time). Not only was this a mini-Michael Jackson concert, this was a celebration of his 30 years as a solo artist. The program featured a long list of big-name performers. Our tickets were the lowest priced and were as far back as you could imagine being at The Garden. We were at the tippy-top of the arena. Literally so far in the back that you could walk up 2 or 3 steps and arrive at the popcorn stand.

But we didn't care. It only mattered that we were there.

Butterflies in my stomach all day at school, I remember racing home and being super anxious about getting there on time. Can't remember what I wore but, I doubt I had on a Michael shirt. I am not sure if I even owned one at the time. And sadly... we didn't even take any pictures that night.

Seeing the other artists perform was exciting of course but, at a Michael Jackson show, most folks are there to see him.We waited nearly 4 hours for Michael to come out. The time in between acts was ridiculously long and most of the people in our section that night got antsy. I even saw a couple of people get up and leave.

It was nearly 10pm when the Jacksons set began. 

Now keep in mind, at this point I hadn't truly delved into Michael's solo music. I was routinely falling asleep to Third Album, the Love Songs Compilation, or the 10-track Jackson Five "Best Of" album. So this moment meant a lot to me. The Jacksons medley was something I have vivid memories of. The sparks and smoke burst into the air, as the 5 Jackson brothers entered through their respective doorways.

And Michael rose from the floor.
He removed his helmet slowly and with that classic "I am the King of Pop and pretty much, the greatest ever...." stance. With one hand pointed in the air and one at his crotch, he gave the cue and the show began.

Here are 3 of my most memorable moments from that evening:

Three of the things that I remember most about the show:

1. Michael's performance of You Rock My World.  Dad and I literally ran out of our seats and down as many stairs as we could, from Section 400 to somewhere in the 100s to get a closer look. Thinking back, this sounds kind of obsessive and insane but... this is where Michael takes you! You totally get in the zone.

2. Seeing Michael doing the TWYMMF silhouette dance from the back. Had the privilege of seeing Michael behind the curtain. His moves were so perfectly timed and precise. (Not to mention, I've heard that Jermaine wrote in his book about Michael not having practiced for these shows at all. I suppose we have to take this with a grain of salt but, without a doubt Michael moved "with flawless precision".)

3.The Jacksons. I suppose that I've saved my personal best, for last. Experiencing the brothers all dancing together in unison to "Can You Feel It" was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. And that breakdown of "Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground)? Totally classic.

A lot of people like to rag on the 30th Anniversary Celebration concerts.
They don't think Michael was at his best.
And to be frankly honest, I can't say I reach for this tape first when I am in the mood to watch concert. I wasn't the biggest fan of the costumes that night... Or Michael's shaggy hairstyle and habit of hiding his mouth while he sang.

But, on September 10, 2001, I realized that there were other people in the world that felt as passionately about Michael Jackson and his message as I did.  I realized that Michael Jackson was an outstanding and electrifying performer. I got chills through my body just seeing him on that stage... and I don't care about how fangirly that sounds.

It's my truth.

I'll always cherish the memory of seeing Michael Jackson live for the first and ONLY time.
And I hope to save my ticket stubs until I get old and gray...  so I can tell my grandchildren about what it was like to witness a living legend... haha. :-)

Does anyone know how to preserve ticket stubs so that the ink doesn't fade away?
Were you also at these shows? What was your favorite moment?

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Comfort Music... "Good Times" by the Jacksons

When Michael died, for months I would see the same phrase over and over- "music died on June 25th". And for a while, that rang very true to me. There were months and months I cried and waited for a morning when I would wake up and the nightmare of losing Michael would be over. I couldn't watch him on video, just seeing him in motion, seeing his smile, his laughter, his divine dance moves... All of that was much too painful. And forget about listening to the slow songs and ballads...

That was torture.

For so many of us MJ fans, Michael Jackson was somewhat of a comforting consistent figure in our lives. He was the definition of complete and true escapism. The first few months without him was a confusing and emotionally jarring period of time.

I had to wipe my iPod completely clean.
For those first few months, I could only manage to listen to one song without feeling sad.

That song was "Good Times" by the Jacksons. 

Due to heavy rotation on quiet storm radio programs, it was one of the most popular album cuts from "The Jacksons" record. The song is more about the death of a relationship  (as opposed to the death of a person) but, for some reason it comforted me. It was the only song that reminded me of happier moments.
It's funny things don't always
Go the way you want them to
Although we're not together
I treasure my experience with you
And it still does.

Whenever you get down and missing Michael, try listening to "Good Times". It helps me realize that being a fan for as many years as I have, is an experience to be treasured.

Here's a clip from my favorite performance of this song:

What do you all listen to when you are missing Michael?

Michael Jackson Fan Merchandise Faves- Moonwalker, Michael & Me, and More for September 2016.

Like most people living in their first NYC apartment, I fell into the IKEA trap when I first moved into my studio. Rent tends to be so expensive in the city and a lot of young professionals end up getting a lot of their furniture from discount stores. I was no exception. After finally making the decision to upgrade, I ended up going through a lot of my closets and subsequently, my Michael stuff.

Here are a couple of my favorites for September, including some "oldies but goodies":

1. Moonwalker

I wore this tape OUT when I was a kid. I simply couldn't get enough of it. This copy is from a friend who recently moved out to LA and was purging some of her collection. The past couple of days, I've been coming home and enjoying this throwback film every evening after work. They now sell Moonwalker in DVD form (here) - if you don't have it... run to the store and check it out!

2. Michael & Me by Shana Mantagal

Now, I will admit. I am not the most knowledgeable fan- ESPECIALLY when it comes to Michael's personal life. I've shared time and time again that my fandom pretty much is rooted in me admiring Michael's accomplishments, being grateful to him for his sacrifice/hard work, and also loving him for bringing me closer to all of my best friends. I usually don't indulge in this type of stuff but, curiosity got the best of me and I picked this up. Planning on doing a full review of the book in the next 3-4 weeks- stay tuned!

3. My Vinyl Record Player

This was gifted to me last Christmas but, I just recently started using it. Hitting up thrift stiffs for albums at a discount is another one of my fave things to do lately. My favorite album to listen to so far is JACKSONS LIVE. I grew up listening to this record and it's been something near and dear to my heart since childhood.

4. Michael Jackson Shot Glasses

I'm not a huge drinker but, thought these were super cute. I got two of them!
If you've been to the store at Mandalay Bay, you know that there's always been a volume of merchandise with the MJ ONE logo (and that faaaaake signature). I was pleased to see on my recent trip that there are a lot more branded items now with Michael's real signature (and more recreations of old tour shirts and merchandise- which is awesome).

5. Bal a Versailles

Michael's favorite fragrance from the '80s, this was gifted to me and I will treasure it for a long, long time :)


What are some of the things you're into this month?


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